LTE. Life Transforming Event. How do you even begin to describe something like that?
Is it the elation you might feel after winning a million dollars? All the numbers lined up and…BAM! You were a millionaire. But wait, riches fade. Quick.
Maybe it’s that new job you just landed. Oh yeah…this is the one you always dreamed of. You have arrived! What’s that you say? Budget cuts? Crap.
Oh…I know. It’s that new relationship that seems to be going in a great direction. Oh, you just want to be friends? Umm…sure. Nice.
How about a three day workshop? With people who like to smile and hug a lot. And I do mean a lot.
Do I have your attention yet? What am I talking about? Well…hang with me and keep reading.
Last weekend, I went to the HOPE workshop. I like how it’s called “workshop” because I did work. Hard.
Now, I have to admit that I put off going to the workshop for over 6 months. Why? Well, I think I may have been part scared, part prideful and completely I-don’t-think-I-really-need-this-because-nothing-terrible-has-happened-to-me.
HOPE. Helping Overcome Painful Experiences? Wow. What a new concept! After 10+ years in ministry what had I been taught to do? I had been taught to COPE. Cover Over Painful Experiences. Oh…and then to pretend it didn’t happen, put on a happy face and tell everyone that everything was fine and dandy while I skipped along a path of roses.
Ouch. What a painful existence.
I learned to stuff emotions and not deal with them. Because after all, I was supposed to put other people first in ministry. Right? I mean, really…there are christians all over the world suffering for the gospel…who am I to complain about not getting the youth leader position I was promised? Some people are beaten for teaching the Bible…my pastor just decided not to use the Bible study he asked me to write, that I spent months on. No big deal.
Right?
Wrong.
The first HOPE session rocked my world. The question was asked, “If I broke my arm and 10,000 others broke their arm too, would my arm hurt any less?” Oh dang! Did you just ask me that question?! My answer? “Well…umm…I would feel bad for the other people.” Wait….that was the Christian-ese answer. Ok…let me try again. “I would pray for the 10,000 others and then myself.” What? Oh, right. You didn’t ask me what I would do…but how I would feel. Geez.
It was then I realized that I had never learned to be honest. Completely honest. With others. With myself. With God.
As the workshop continued, I felt like I was finally given permission to “feel.” That emotion was ok…it was even designed by God on purpose for a purpose. Whoa! The tools shared to help process emotions and respond appropriately gave me a sense of empowerment. It’s almost like I had been trapped in an emotional prison cell my whole life and now the door had just unlocked and opened right in front of me. All I had to do was walk out.
Scary, but exciting.
I understand that this event was the beginning of a process. It’s the beginning of a journey. A lifelong journey. I know it will be hard at times. I may even want to revert back to the old habits and just COPE. But that’s not what I want for my life.
I want a transformed life. And I want to live and give of myself to see others transformed as well.
Thank you Farrar Moore and everyone with Caring Resources. You created a comfortable and safe environment for me to learn, discover, fall apart, process and grow. I pray my life will be just another example of your dedication to bring emotional wholeness to individuals and the Church as a whole.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
My my my, the gurrrrrrl kin wriiiiite. Aubrey, your transparent writing gift is on spiritual steroids!!! I love hearing what’s going on in your life and THROUGH your life; there is an eloquence in your writing that is down home, and down right comforting-full of honesty and hope. THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts and experiences in this journey, beloved. You are rockin’ on the Rock!!!! Love to you, dear one. Your T2 blogger buddy-PS-ongoing wellness in your body!!!! I mean it!!! Thank you…everybody dance…
Hm, Marge couldn’t have said it any better! I TOTALLY agree with her comment and then some!
Thanks for opening up a peice of your world, girlie. God is moving in your life, no doubt…let Him do what He’s gotta do, cuz I promise its gonna be GREAT.
Simply(Authentic)Aubs. This is the stuff of life – and good stuff it is. Continue to go after it – healing, wholeness…and writing like this. It will change people’s lives…especially yours. This is going to be fun to watch.
Margie – Thanks for your constant encouragement! I am always uplifted, humbled and challenged by our conversations! Those specific words of encouragement are HUGE to me!!!
Erica – Coming from such a writer I respect, I am humbled. Thank you for always encouraging as well. You are a dear friend, and I am blessed to know you!
Kris – Wow. That has got to be one of the biggest compliments to me. I strive for authenticity. I want to truly be an open book and inspire others to do the same. Thanks!
Wow – that is amazing and so very insightful. Thanks so much for sharing. I am SO excited to see what God will continue to do in your life. You’re a blessing and I am so glad you took the step of faith to attend HOPE. Yippee! I think I might just skip.
Aubs, that is truly insightful! I am so thankful to be a part of your life and to see what God is CONTINUING to do, both in and through you. Yes, I said THROUGH you! I am filled with faith in God to see what this next season holds for you!
Angela – Ya know…I may just start skipping with you! There is such wisdom, joy and “funness” that exudes from you. Thanks for being you! And thanks for your kind words. I’m excited to see all that God will continue to do as well. I’m DEFINITELY a work in progress.
Mitch – Well…what can I say? You’ve seen and heard it all from me, yet you still stick around. I KNOW that’s God! That means the world to me. Thanks for giving of yourself for others. It does not go unnoticed.